Reorienting

Recently, I had an “Is this really my life?” moment.  Not the bad kind, like that time I was being rained on INSIDE of a van (That one’s for you, JKV), but the really good/moderately disorienting kind.  2011 started with working my first ever holiday shift at a hospital, and hating every single moment of it.  From there, things have definitely looked up. 

I chose a career path in ambulatory care, finished my first year of residency, bought a car, picked up and moved to Colorado, met a wonderful man, fell in love with said wonderful man, lived alone for the first time, am half way through another year of residency, and have started looking for a big kid job and thinking about what I want the rest of my life to look like. 

I putzed around in various tiny church plants in Denver and thought I found a place to settle into, until JR and I decided that it was probably a good time for us to start going to church together.  It was a total game changer for me, and now I go to a huge 500-people-per-service-kind-of-place where I get to see JR do what he loves every single week.  And I adore it, and am really looking forward to investing there.

I have attended more professional sporting events in the past 6 months than in the rest of my 25 years of life combined.  My sports related wardrobe has increased 400% (from 1 shirt to 4!)  My math skills haven’t improved at all – that is 400%, right?  I know who Andrew Luck, Jay Cutler, and Tim Tebow are – and I even find myself CARING about what is going on sometimes.

I’ve done a pretty good job exploring Denver and Colorado – I’ve been to Aspen, Breckenridge, Boulder, and the Garden of the Gods.  I’ve checked out the Denver Art Museum, seen Les Mis, found a number of fabulous restaurants, cute coffee shops, and 1 fantastic book store.  We already have opera tickets for February.  I even think the number of times I yell “damn hippies!” in my head while driving has decreased. 

But at the same time, I haven’t rolled out of bed and gone to a fabulous weekend brunch with a good friend in a long time.  There hasn’t been that quiet, semi-comatose, comfortable silence until the coffee kicks in and we can finally hash out all of life’s troubles together. 

I haven’t strapped on my salsa shoes, gone to yoga, cooked dinner with a giant group of people, taught a Sunday school lesson, or baked a single cupcake. 

So that is what brought me to my moment of “Who am I, anymore?”   Beautiful things have been discovered, learned, and given, but beautiful things have been put to the side as well. 

And so I begin a process of reorienting myself to me among the uncertainties that 2012 is sure to bring. 

I don’t want to speak to soon – but I think it’s going to be a good year.